Relationship is a beautiful gift that helps you to live life happily, to grow old with each other, to learn and inspire each other, to look forward to every single day to be with each other, without doing anything just being with that person makes the day special, being together to enjoy the romance of difficult times in life and to learn from each other how to be complete together. There are certain things that make this pure and serene partnership of two people extremely ugly and selfish so much so that surviving together becomes a question mark. Analyzing my relationship counseling cases in the past few years I can say that following problems can make these two people fall apart:-
Not being emotionally Self Sufficient
Self-sufficiency is the quality of feeling secure and content with oneself, a deep-rooted feeling of being complete within. It is not similar to self-esteem, Self Esteem is the surface level but self-sufficiency is a feeling of fundamental wholeness and well-being. Once both the people are complete within then only they can nurture the relationship together otherwise they will keep struggling to fulfill themselves individually at the cost of relationship. Someone who is not self-sufficient within will always question for more time, more attention and more affection in various ways which will ultimately lead to less time for individual spaces and that is the situation that welcomes the frustration from the other partner. When your bliss list gets attached with your partner that is when the relationship suffers.
Expectations
Expectation is the seed in your mind how will the other person know what is going there in your mind and it will become very difficult to satisfy it.
Most of the times expectation comes from the past experiences and memories. For example if as a kid you didn’t get enough attention from your parents and you made your belief that you are unwanted in the family. You entered the new relationship with this old belief and expected your partner to give all the attention that you didn’t get in your childhood. Therefore your expectation based on the old belief becomes a burden on your relationship. There might be many such limiting belief which restricts the relationship to grow.
Lack of Attitude of Gratitude
The most important thing in any relationship is to make the other person realize what he or she has done for you or the value of the other person in your life. In this era, life is just passing by and we are so much involved in technology that we forget to mention to the other person that we can’t live without them or life is so incomplete without them.
